Monday 4 January 2016

6 Red Bulls, 12 Pro Plus and a Cattle Prod up the Jackanory. I AM THAT AWAKE FOR THIS.

What can I say that hasn't been said already about Star Wars: The Force Awakens? Does it ooze adventure? Yep. Capture the magic of A New Hope? Wonderfully. Are all your favourite characters on hand to massage your nostalgia receptors into a sweaty mess on the cinema floor? Well, I'm writing this stuck to a persons shoe. There are twists, turns, loop-the-loops and all the action-packed goodness you'd find in a barrel full of red bull soaked Carolina Reapers.

In my opinion, The Force Awakens (TFA) is utterly, utterly brilliant. What also made my experience of it so unique, is that I watched alongside my better half; someone who is completely new to a galaxy far, far away, compared to myself, a man who had one of his first sexual encounters at the hands of a Jedi's reasoning tool. The force was strong. 

Don't worry. I promise I won't include any spoilers or give anything away. I wasn't born a total gooseberry.
In essence, JJ Abrams has grabbed the world's most beloved space opera by the Jabba the Hutts and taken the story forwards in Episode VII. Set 20yrs or so after Return of the Jedi, Vader has long been torched courtesy of that Ewok barbeque, yet the Empire continue their proclamation to wipe out the Rebels(scum) who won't be radicalised into joining the First Order, led by one-man Emo with daddy issues, Kylo Ren, played by the super talented Adam Driver. We meet new protagonists 'Rae' (Daisy Ridley), and 'Finn' (John Boyega) who cross paths by coincidence/ the force thanks to the charming want-to-take-him-home-and-build-a-fortress-together droid, BB8. Oscar Isaccs is lead X-Wing pilot Poe Dameron and all your favourite space pirates, princesses-turned-Generals and walking rugs are on call, as the rebels race to find Luke Skywalker before the dark side do. 

So, what will super fans make of it? Well, I'm still beaming like a Cheshire Cat and will be for quite some time. It was magical.

Having watched the world premiere (because real fans stay up 'til 4am on a school night...), it wasn't just the hype or scale of the film which blew me away, but the worldwide celebration of the original sagas legacy returning to smite the Empire once again. I don't remember quite the same fanfare for The Phantom Menace et al. It really was surprising to see the blatant lack of recognition for the prequel trilogy, a trio of big budget movies which are very much a part of the Star Wars universe, but people simply don't care. In all fairness, it does deserve to be digested by the Sarlak 3 times over, but still. No Hayden Christensen, No Ewan McGregor and definitely no Gungans (despite the internets pleas...) were invited. Liam Neeson was probably off kicking some Albanian's ass for yoinking the family dog, so he's excused.

However; Hamill, Harrison, Fisher, Chewie; they ARE Star Wars and boy was it good to see them together again.  
JJ Abrams' made a brilliant decision to write them into Episode VII alongside acclaimed screenwriter, Larry Kasdan, despite everyone initially thinking it may a terrible idea. Indiana Jones: KOTCS still gives me cold sweats 8yrs later. 
Kasdan; penner of The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi and even personal favourite Raiders of the Lost Ark, has captured the magic of Episodes V & VI wonderfully, which is assumedly what Abrams convinced Disney he could do given the freedom. 
He's surrounded himself with the same crew and production team who began this epic galactic adventure 38yrs ago and it's due to his own personal experiences of Star Wars as a young lad that he agreed to nurture and recreate it. No doubt the 3.3% of worldwide box office takings in his deal, playing a small part too. 
However, we've all seen the stupendous job he's done rebooting Star Trek. We had faith.

The new characters have been cast excellently. Mostly newbies; they bring vibrancy, wonder, fun and a a very satisfying fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants-ness which unleashes your inner youngling. 
Abrams has also been sure to hold back on the CGI after the smorgasbord of generated-tosh Lucas stuck on screen in the last trilogies outing. Instead, we have real explosions, the creation of bizarre and imaginative creatures particularly in Maz Kanata's Cantina courtesy of the genius, Neal Scanlan, and speaking of legends, superstar DOP, Dan Mindel, who has outdone himself with some of the most thrilling action sequences I've ever seen! Pyew-pyew laser gun fights, lightsaber battles, the Millennium Falcon returning to tear a new bigger, better, faster, stronger hole in the First Order's fleet. Simply breathtaking the lot of it.

The humour on board is also first rate. One of the opening exchanges between Issacs and Driver really set the tone for me, with Boyega adding tons of London-swagger to proceedings which hugely benefited the big scenes. His one-on-one with the TR-8R reminded me of the Raiders scene between Indy and the saracen sword-slinging vegetable seller. Although, this time no-one had the squits so they actually had to go through with it.

If I had any gripes, its that some of the story is a little random such as Rae suddenly hearing a lightsaber calling to her without a solid reason why, or how a measly storm trooper can be evenly matched in a duel with a Sith. Maul would've kicked his ass and probably eaten him after. We also didn't learn that much about 7ft silver-surfing trooper, Captain Phasma(Gwendoline Christie)either. What's her deal? Some scenes can also run a little long too. Shout out to Abrams though because although the cantina was one of those said long-uns for me, Maz looks just like my grandma which me chuckle and made the time go quicker.  
All in all, Star Wars: The Force Awakens is probably my movie of the year. It ticked every box, game me goose bumps at every turn, made me laugh, cry and there it brought back so many good memories. It's an institution and a club which I'm so proud to be a member of. 

Oh, and if you're wondering what the Mrs thought of the movie, she's now "actually quite looking forward to the next one".

Mission accomplished. 

Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens receives 5/5 Macho Man Randy Savages because it's Star Wars. End of. 

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