Wednesday 5 March 2014

4 Halfwit Somalians Outsmart Entire US NAVY

I was a bit of an arrogant dip shit as a teen (yep, this guy) who thought he was untouchable. I'd swan around with a swagger about me which was utterly unwarranted and if I passed myself in the street today, would probably slap me and call the fashion police. Kappa tracksuit bottoms were never "in" as much as I still tell everyone otherwise. 

But, when I finally got around to watching Captain Phillips last night, it reminded me of an incident which was pretty darn scary growing up. I was ambushed by a gang of teenage thugs whilst on my way home who tried to work me for 50p (or really, nab my Nokia 5110) and that fear I experienced being threatened, unaware of the lengths they would go to to get it.

Based on a true story, Tom Hanks plays the titular role captaining a container ship through the Gulf of Aden - dangerous high seas notoriously rife with Somalian pirate factions. When 4 determined African assailants led by leader, Barkhad Abdi, board the ship they attempt to seize control and leave with more than just the $30,000 they came for...

From the off, you can tell that this is clearly the sublime work of Paul Greengrass due the infectious fast-paced, up close and personal camera work he's become synonymous with in the wake of the Bourne trilogy. Hanks is incredibly believable as the steadfast Captain putting his crew's safety before his own, and although a irritating stickler for routine, is respected by all, and rightly so. Watching last night, it was when this composure began to whittle away that those original memories of mine resurfaced. Watching the pirates seize control of the bridge armed with machine-guns was absolutely terrifying.

"Look at me! Now, give me what I want..." is at the heart of Abdi and Co's threats, and I immediately felt uneasy. They had that fearlessness in their eyes. Like I was right back at school and that attention deficit ginger kid with 'loose cannon' probably buried somewhere beneath his freckles, was on the prowl to cause mischief. 

Barkhad Abdi, Faysal Ahmed, Mahat M. Ali and Barkhad Abdirahman play the ruthless foursome who eventually take Hanks hostage aboard a mini-sub and are inevitably chased by the entire US NAVY as they travel at 7mph towards the coast of Somalia. When a SEAL team is deployed to stop them at all costs, you know that this will probably end badly for them because America is like the strongest place, ever. It really hits home how many young African actors there are now who consistently perform amazingly well. The quartet convey the anarchic and ruthless nature of piracy utterly convincingly.

Scenes aboard the mini-sub were spell-binding with the pirates losing their cool, becoming dehydrated, injured and understandably erratic. These were great and highly unpredictable, offering a unique insight into the life of teen soldiers as they slowly began to step out from behind their M16's when a decision involved thinking beyond the next 5 minutes.    

On the other hand, it did seem rather unimaginable that the entire US Naval fleet would handle a terrorist situation so phenomenally badly though. In a high-octane moment when Hanks eludes the captors by jumping into the ocean, we see the the bad ass SEAL team just lying about watching haplessly through binoculars chewing on gum balls.

For me, Captain Phillips did unfortunately fall prey to the spoiler filled world of social media though as everyone, literally every person there is, kept telling me how "the last 5 minutes is just AMAZING..." and that "Tom Hanks is so good at the end, mate..." which as you can imagine, set some incredibly high expectations. And was that bit good? Yeah, he was excellent. But was it life-changing? Nah, not really. But, don't get me wrong, I  thought there were some scenes in which Hanks was even stronger and the adaptation of "A Captain's Duty: Somali Pirates" alone, was excellent.

Oh and before I forget, want to know what happened when one of the thugs put their hands in my pocket to take my wallet? He got a hand full of melted chocolate from an old eclair that had gotten all sweaty. Served the prick right.

Captain Phillips receives 3/5 Macho Man Randy Savages.

 

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