The #Oscars2015: A Belated Round-Up

On a dark, dark night, down a dark, dark street, there was a dark, dark house, where everyone was sleeping, except for night-people like Bruce Wayne or Jake Gyllenhaal. And the diehard's who couldn't bare to receive their Oscar round-ups courtesy of some half-wit breakfast television presenter. Probably a weather girl key-coded into a green screen projection of Hollywood's Dolby Theatre...somewhere in Charlton. 
Were you one of the individuals who nodded off mid-Neil Patrick Harris performing for LaLa Land's elite? Yes, it did feel like he was performing at his parents request come an awkward 90s dinner party. One with Lighthouse Family playing in the background and everybody eating twiglets. Still, as with all these award ceremonies now; it pays dividends to take on the role of host. With NPH's success in How I Met Your Mother, his surprisingly decent performance as an obsessed lover in Gone Girl and his track record having pirouetted into the arms of Wolverine at the Tony Awards; he took to proceedings like a duck to water. A little uncomfortably at first but no real mishaps to report. So far. 


But, enough of the blowing smoke up Harris' derriere. We're here to talk AWARDS. Best Picture was again, one of the most exciting categories on the night with BIRDMAN taking first prize. Well deserved due to the array of top drawer performances and cinematic wizardry, with Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu also taking home 
Best Director which probably enraged a lot of right wing Americans. 
Speaking of which, American Sniper may have grossed more at the box office than any other of the nominated films yet the Bradley Cooper's desperate measures to try and nab a statue had less class than that hobo looking for a fix in Menace II Society. Yep, the blowjob one. The Imitation Game still managed to take home Best Adapted Screenplay and rightly so after a star-studded cast including Cumberbatch and Knightly (who sorely missed out on the night) captivated audiences around the globe with his magnificent portrayal of English Codebreaker, Alan Turing. Interesting to see the lack of accolades for Boyhood after its success at the BAFTAs but lets not be greedy shall we. 

EDDIE REDMAYNE won Best Actor and deservedly so after a simply breathtaking performance as Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything. For such a young chap with a bright future ahead of him, I don't think anyone minded him ambling around the stage like a flamingo. Bet he's a revelation come a yoga class. Look at them knees! With a humble speech dedicating his award to the bearers of ALS, I like this well-educated cat a lot. Regardless of the whole Jupiter Ascending thing.

And, who could argue that it was about time fiery-haired beauty JULIANNE MOORE won an award for a leading lady. Winning Best Actress for her portrayal of the titular character in Still Alice dealing with the early onset Alzheimer's disease, she shone. Even if Kristen Stewart attempted to steal every scene with her baggy-eyed misery guts. 
With Moore's track record working on incredible projects such as The Coen Brothers 'The Big Lebowski' & as the wilting porn actress in Paul Thomas Anderson's 'Boogie Nights'; she has gone from indie firecracker to academy favourite. Mind you, this is all down to the committee unexpectedly having their memories wiped Men in Black-style after whatever Hannibal was.

Best Supporting roles went to recent BAFTA winners J.K Simmons for his role as irate teacher, Fletcher, in percussion epic Whiplash, whilst Patricia Arquette added to her collection with her moving performance across Richard Linklater's 12yrs-in-the-making drama, Boyhood, which swept up in the UK only  a few weeks ago. 

Other pivotal victories must go to Whiplash again for smashing it in the Best Sound department, Wes Anderson's The Grand Budapest Hotel bossed it in the Best Make-Up and Production Design categories whilst a big shout out must also go to Disney's Big Hero 6 for Best Animated Feature.


All in all; another year, another great showcase for rising stars in every aspect of film-making as well as the home favourites who continue to deliver year on year. Even Lady Gaga turned out to sing a tribute to Sound of Music which she'd rumoured to have been practising for 6months. Wow. She was probably asked to perform because she often smells of well-reared meat and John Travolta would have way less trouble introducing a person with 4 syllables to their name. Win, win. I guess the one question on your lips right now is "But, WHO was everybody wearing, Adam?" And for that, I'd recommend you tune into breakfast television in the morning...

The Oscars 2015 receives 2/5 Macho Man Randy Savages because although the British were deservedly triumphant on the night, no-one fell over their own legs or broke down into a soppy mess, which was bloody disappointing. 

Ignorance is Bliss.

Where the fuck has Michael Keaton been? I thought he'd received the Mark-Paul Gosselaar treatment with rumours of his demise, or his abduction by sex aliens. But, in actuality, the former Batman has been working on his comeback in a movie which is causing a right old stir come award season. Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) is a huge triumph, artistically. Directed in the same ilk as a Broadway production unfolding before its audience with set changes and uninterrupted scenes; its documentary inspired camera work is a stroke of genius by Alejandro González Iñárritu (Babel, Biutiful) who has conceived a way in which we follow Riggan Thomson's rise back towards the limelight. 

Having played Marvel's titular superhero in years previous, Riggan (Michael Keaton) is attempting to re-enter the acting world by financing his own Broadway production of Raymond Carver's short story "What we talk about when we talk about love", produced by his Between Two Ferns best friend and lawyer, Jake (Zach Galifianakis). 
Riggan has put it all on the line to reignite the success of his earlier years as winged superhero, Birdman, but is instead haunted by the imaginary persona of the beaked superhero incarnate. The winged manifestation pulling at his strings of insecurity like a deranged puppeteer is gripping (what with his hauntingly bad ass costume which for some incomprehensible reason I wished I myself was wearing in the theatre). He leads Keaton to believe that he has the ability to fly and can tele-kinetically break, smash and hurl inanimate objects, which the strategically planned 
steadi-cam work captures brilliantly.

Which brings me to the casts performances. This is a group of actors who have gripped their roles by the plums having clearly read the script and fallen head over heels for the roles in which they'd been gifted. Edward Norton plays the narcissistic, capricious method acting Mike Shiner who steals every scene in which he's present. Cool, utterly egotistical and barren of all logical emotion away from the stage, he moseys arrogantly in to Riggan's production, sweeps in on the his daughter; the vulnerable, quintessentially privileged yet rife with daddy issues, Sam (Emma Stone)and portrays the epitome of what we all imagine a 'massive theatre wanker' looks and acts like. He's fabulous.

It was also enlightening to see Naomi Watts playing her role as Lesley; the budding actor/ Norton's bit on the side, desperate for a break in the acting world which she feels she's earned what with all the shagging around and conveying all the idiosyncrasies and lust for approval you'd expect from an ageing thespian. Her comical back and fourths with Keaton and Norton are profoundly entertaining and taking a back seat in a supporting role gives Watts far more room to have fun, making each of her scenes pop from the screen.

Keaton though, is a revelation. This was the role he was born to play. Forget your Dark Knights and your Beetlejuice's (which subsequently has a sequel on its way!) - he owns this shit! And by shit, I mean behemoth of a performance. The psychological battles he faces with his imaginary ego, the stage productions success/ failure, his ex-wife and loose cannon of a daughter as well as the incredibly vivid exchanges with Tabitha Dickinson (Lindsay Duncan) who is THE voice of New York's theatre critics scene, are mesmerising. It puts in to perspective just how convoluted, unethical and corrupt the entertainment world might be so candidly, it'll leave you wondering just how much cash may in fact have been exchanged to let Robert Pattinson anywhere near a film set #LOLZ 

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) is such an exciting, forward thinking film which tells the story of a man clawing his way back from a land that time forgot. A tale which somewhat resonates the career of Michael Keaton making it all the more believable. Whether it be the fantastically percussion laced interstitial's or the electric performances of the small cast & ensemble; credit must go where its due for the director and the production team who have seamlessly managed to bridge the gap between film, theatre and modern art and in my opinion, it deserves all the nominations under the sun. It's also better than 74% of Marvel's other movies. Fact.

Birdman receives 4/5 Macho Man Randy Savages because it confirms that running through Times Square in your Y-fronts just got cool again...

Time...Incredibly Well Spent.

It was always going to take a rather special movie to bring me out of my 7month slumber. For this, I apologise. A gentleman never tells why he must suddenly swan off somewhere but the trial did take far longer than expected. 
And thus, we have one of January's biggest releases; The Theory of Everything. 
Prof. Steven Hawking is arguably the most prolific scientist of our generation. 
The Darwin of today. Deep Thought incarnate. But also a man who has defied the odds both physically and mentally. Images have always depicted him as a man forever bound to a chair with that iconic computer generated voice. A voice which Prof. Hawking did in fact kindly agree to let Director, James Marsh (Shadow Dancer, Man on Wire) have at his disposal to add a layer of authenticity to proceedings. Not to mention originality, otherwise we would've had to have been subjected to the next best thing which in La La Land means 'voiced by someone of educated stature' like Stephen Fry, which from what we've seen previously a la the revamped Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy in 2005, would have been all kinds of sucky wankpotts.

Eddie Redmayne. What a talent. 
He is incredible as the leading man. To see someone so young portray the deteriorating layers of a man in physical decline over the course of a 2hr film, across 40 odd years was breath-taking. Eddie gives himself entirely to the role without holding anything back at all. Biopics can be very tricky customers, especially if the story is about someone SO famous, that anything other than the real deal is a mere feable attempt at mimicing someone else's actions. I genuinely felt, particularly towards the latter part of the film, that I was watching a documentary...through a wormhole. Of sorts. The world should tip its hat to Redmayne; simply magnificent. 

His relationship with Felicity Jones (Jane Wilde/Hawking) in the movie thrashes your heart-strings about like your sat on a runaway roller coaster. As Stephen's motor-neurone disease continues to take its toll, coming to terms with his illness and remaining strong in the eyes of his peers and family shows such strength, which she portrays brilliantly as the altruistic English rose. Felicity deserves all the accolades on the planet in her own right as she deals with the invasiveness of the media and family pressures so honestly. Everyone in my vicinity just kept crying. That says a lot.


Other characters of worthy mention must go to Charlie Cox (Jonathan Hellyer Jones) who takes on the role of the church quoir leader turned 'other man'. He plays it with a vulnerability, completely non-judgmental in the face of what was a very difficut circumstance at home with the Hawkings, and you grow attached to him hoping that after all the help he offers them, that he would land on his feet. So, he eventually runs off with Stephen's wife. Classic. Harry Lloyd (Brian) also plays the professor's endearingly nitwitish best mate in entertaining fashion, and the great David Thewlis (Dennis Sciama) is the mentor who's playful banter and 'kick up the backside attitude' with Stephen gave insight into how the man behind the history of time, became the witty, ambitious man he is today.

We must also not forget the science bit. The numbers, time, big bang theories, etchings on blackboards of a language which genuinely looks Martian. Its all scripted so well that it appears almost completely understandable, regardless of whether you've seen 
Star Trek before or not. The language used, theories about the universe and the space-time continuum will grab your imagination by the balls and deliver Stephen's notions to you clearly enough to interest even the most simple movie goers. So, don't be afraid luddites.

My knowledge of Stephen and Jane's relationship was utterly amiss before embarking on this adventure into the life and times of the Hawking family. I had no idea they had children. Three children! I was unaware that it was Stephen who found love elsewhere before Jane. Who in their right mind has the audacity to turn down a knighthood from the Queen!?
The Theory of Everything is one of the most captivating, tear-jerking, inspiring films I have seen in recent years and the moment I got home, I was straight on the interweb to purchase my copy of 
his first book. One of his many notions included 'The past, like the future, is indefinite and exists only as a spectrum of possibilities' and if the British Film industry continues to produce amazing stories like the Professor's, we movie lovers are in for one heck of a ride.




PS Stephen's rowing sweater was dope.

The Theory of Everything receives 5/5 Macho Man Randy Savages for making it legit to like the second page of symbols on your smartphone.

Mutants vs. Sentinels = Peter Dinklage Getting Laid.

Days of Future Past. Otherwise known to regular English speakers as "yesterday". Although in hindsight, that movie sounds like a gushy teen drama involving an awkward one nighter. Nevertheless, the brand new 
X-men movie was always going to be a box office big hitter what with the countless trailers featuring both the cast from First Class and the original trilogy directed by Bryan Singer. I'm talking X-Men & X2. Not the 3rd instalment where Famke Janssen had a mental and the story had the consistency of a runny fox poo.

As soon as the teaser trailer for X-Men: Days of Future Past was released, I knew I was gonna like it. Superheroes. Time-travel. Captain Picard. These are my favourite things. What I was unaware of was the plots direct association with 1981's The Uncanny X-Men comic book, with the exception of a few minor details so that Marvel Studios could cram Hugh Jackman in some more to justify their margins. 

I'm going to stop being a sourpuss there though because

what I have to say about the movie is very, very positive. Set in the near future, mutants are being eradicated by the Sentinels; artificially intelligent fighting machines a la terminators who's only purpose is to dispose of superior beings to humans. Even with some of the most extravagant powers held by mutants, these robots are otherwise unstoppable what with their stupid melty fire faces. 

Sir Ian McKellan and Patrick Stewart reclaim the original roles of Magneto and Dr. X and held up somewhere along the Great Wall of China, devise a way for Ellen Page's character, Kitty Pryde, to send one mutant back in time to stop the Sentinels from ever being developed by Bolivar Trask, played by Game of Thrones star Peter Dinklage. Long story short, it has to be Wolverine because of his rejuvenating abilities for some far-fetched reason about his brain being torn apart by the time-travel yet it can repair at a faster rate. That bit only last a few seconds, just roll with it. 

Anyway, he must travel back to 1973 where the whole Sentinel business started after Mystique (played by the bloody splendid to look at, Jennifer Lawrence) made a boo-boo involving a dwarf, some government officials and a roundhouse kick. He must also convince the younger Dr. X to stop using Beast (played by Nicholas Hoult) as his live at home drug dealer. Thus, Wolverine has to convince James McAvoy, Fassbender and Co. from the past to work as one to stop the military ever putting the sentinel program into action and wiping out the mutants! And, breaaaaaaathe....... *sigh

I'm a Marvel fan, yes, but by no means am I an expert. There are thousands of people the world over who read every comic book and are savvy with each of the given story arcs, within each of the extraordinary universes. Yet, with my far from superior knowledge, I didn't feel too overwhelmed by it all at any point. It was good to see that Singer had followed on from First Class by choosing a time period in which he needn't depend on special effects. Its a superpower movie, but it didn't feel top heavy with CGI (did Spielberg need anything besides a talcum powder Arc of the Covenant spirit in Raiders, I don't think so!) which it so easily could've done (Transformers *cough) and that's a huge achievement in my book. 

I loved the array of new X-Men which made the cut such as the energy absorbing "Bishop" played by Omar Sy, Daniel Cudmore's metal-skinned "Colossus", Fan BingBing's portal boasting "Blink", and a very funny scene with Peter Evans as "Quicksilver". Look at him dash around that kitchen all stupid with his goggles and his fast speeds changing the flight path of bullets and crockery, and such! What a card. Every character is well thought out and its brilliant to watch the ways in which they work together to hinder the sentinels reaching Wolverine and the fogeys.

The story is also really well crafted. It might not be any BTTF Enchantment Under the Sea dance shenanigans but the introduction of new characters, the visible downfall of Magneto and the origins of the world's history told by the writers at Marvel is ridiculous...but a great bit of fun to watch unfold.

Hey Adam - were there any downsides to all these positive vibes though, man? Yes, there were the Californian man in my brain. 

There aren't many movies which should lean on reimagining a series AGAIN after doing such a good job to revamp it. Star Trek being the biggest triumph in recent times. First Class and Days of Future did this wonderfully too by introducing the origins elements to its movies. But, when I've got to sit through the rebirth of all the calamitous characters who we're collectively glad shuffled off this mortal coil already (Cyclops, you massive nonce); it felt like a step backwards to me. We've come all this way, why go back for seconds when all she's gonna do is taste of cigarettes and make you cry..? 

Days of Future Past was a brilliantly fun movie which I highly recommend seeing on the big screen, particularly if you like seeing most of your favourite actors performing magic tricks and watching Jennifer Lawrence remind us that blue can do wonders for the imagination. Oh, and don't forget to stick around for the finale post-credits to catch a certain someone get frisky with a triangle. I assure you, its not Jimmy White.

X-Men: Days of Future Past receives 4/5 Macho Man Randy Savages because Singer's throwing all kinds of quality shapes back at the helm (...it would've been a 5 if it weren't for James Marsden's cameo giving it a -1 like that annoying bonus card in Uno. I loathe you, Cyclops).

  
    

When Moths Get Horny, S*it Goes South.

This summer is set to be one, 

action-packed bastard. Fact. 

X-men: Days of Future Past; I'm in. Edge of Tomorrow; probably. Transformers 4... *Adam makes awkward unsure squeak which sounds like he's curling out a wet one. 

When a mate of mine suggested we hop on the disaster movie bandwagon early doors with one of the biggest nominations for this year's "most CGI used to give a film some narrative" award, I nodded so we did it. That movie's name was Godzilla. 

It quickly dawned on me when I began sharing my evenings plans with anyone who would listen that a lot of people have a real soft spot for "King of the Monsters" in one form or another. Friends and colleagues of mine had read comics, played video-games, watched the back catalogue of movies including the Matthew Broderick one which forced him to see out his career on Broadway. I had nothing. No expectations. No context or knowledge of Godzilla and it's history. Nada. Was this to my advantage though?

I saw the "extreme" version at the cinema which is coined as making the overall experience more immersive, but between you and I, the only fascinating thing about it was how any one could charge such an enormous ticket price for something without it being considered a crime. £15 in some places can get you a 30min back rub, happy ending and the change left over for a slush puppie.

For those who can't tell what the movies about from the poster, the life and times of a giant monster being. The story begins with a Japanese power planet experiencing tremors which only Bryan Cranston's character, Dr. Joe Brody, believes to be less quake, more unexplained snoring. He's right, but no one listens to him which ends in loss and an 18yr "meltdown". Get it? Because of the plant and...oh, f*ck off.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson (of Kick Ass and toyboy fame) plays his son, Ford, who upon returning from his surprisingly convenient service in the military's bomb disposal unit must travel to Japan to bail out his Dad. Ergo, this leads to a chance encounter with Ken Watanabe's character, Dr. Ishiro Serizawa, who has been using the plant's energy to breed a pair of horny giant moth-like organisms which go on to cause more trouble than the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man. 

Cue Godzilla to fix things right on cue. Who's introduction surprised me because it turns out this isn't an origins story. As the credits begin, we've already established that this isn't the first time the big galoot has caused the Pacific problems. Godzilla has been absorbing energy from the earth's core all this time laying dormant waiting at the bottom of the ocean to fight the big moth things upon their awakening and I won't spoil anymore, but what ensues is 2hrs of huge explosions, amazing monster battles synonymous with the comics and movies of old which is really the best bit of the film. The human story involving Ford trying to save his wife and son stranded in monster-torn San Francisco felt like the moments in between rounds during a boxing match.

Godzilla looks epic with a fierceness in his eyes and a compendium of cracking wrestling moves he's obviously learnt from Monday Night Raw. Clotheslines, Suplexes, Sleeper Holds; the lizard's got game. And the blue flamey breath thing is unbelievable! What I wasn't expecting was the sensitive side of the monster particularly the longing gaze you'll be privy to between he and Taylor-Johnson mid-rumble. Arr, he has feelings! *sigh

So, was having no expectations a good thing? Well, fans first expressed their dissatisfaction when the monster's big reveal arrived early in the most recent trailer which diffused the suspense. I have to agree. But, from the reaction of people around me when the theatre lights went up, it didn't really matter. What people were expecting was a big lizard terrorising a city involving characters looking awe-struck by something so destructive that it would put an Adam Sandler performance to shame.

Godzilla is a fun, disaster movie which is certainly worth watching on the big screen. But for me, it just felt like a better version of Jurassic Park 2 which Jeff Goldblum originally claimed was less cool than his tinted glasses/ biker jacket combo. Alright, he didn't say that, but the fact I'm comparing Godzilla to a film of the same ilk from '97, speaks volumes. 

Godzilla (2014) receives 3/5 Macho Man Randy Savages because aside from its impressive scale and big action scenes in the film, it was ultimately a hot mess.

  

Oh, To Have A Chemistry Degree...

"F*ck. F*ckity f*ckity f*ck f*ck f*ck..." This potty-mouth party ensued when the foppish quiff of Hugh Grant rolled out of bed, late for the church ceremony at the beginning of Four Weddings and a Funeral. 
These very same expletives fell from my mouth each and every time the credits rolled across all 62 mesmerising episodes of arguably the greatest TV show in modern history. Breaking Bad is...well, what hasn't been said already? 

At first, it appeared to be a rather comical caper involving a man who in almost every image captured from Season 1 (see above), was standing by a Winnebago pointing a pistol dressed in work shoes and Y-fronts. People were baffled that Bryan Cranston, the "Dad from Malcolm in the Middle", could be anything but a pushover to his wife and their 3 oddly shaped children. I too made a quick association as I recognised Aaron Paul from 2002s Van Wilder: Party Liaison as the high-as-a-kite Californian kid who'd been copping off with multiple chicks in a broom cupboard.

I could spend hours attempting to weave an accurate interpretation of the 5 stellar seasons which have since made US television tyrannosaurus, AMC, the entertainment equivalent of slum dog millionaire Wayne Rooney; the risk that paid dividends. Not one network wanted the pilot season. Showtime, ABC, FOX; they all passed on it. And what fools they were. Breaking Bad has effectively changed the way in which we now watch television. A sweeping statement? I don't think so.

Social media has grown exponentially these last few years (you can find out just how much on the TV show I present, Planet of the Apps, which is a terribly obvious plug on my part but a justified one), as has the furtherance of TV on Demand. Netflix, LoveFilm, Amazon Prime to name but a few overtook the market behemoth Blockbuster which is now a smoking ghost ship left slowly plunging to the bottom of the Home Entertainment Ocean. Original television series such as House of Cards and Orange is the New Black are being effectively commissioned by streaming sites; something Sean Parker could have only dreamt of back in his parent's garage. 

Breaking Bad was a Netflix exclusive in the UK airing the final series of episodes which had premiered in the states, a matter of hours beforehand. And it was big. Crazy big. I for one fell victim to the pilgrimage which was quickly happening across the land to almost every TV owner - "Have you seen Breaking Bad? Yeah. Have you? No. WTF?! What's wrong with you!!?" This happened everywhere, even mothers in supermarkets began fighting in aisles whilst their children stripped off and wrestled in nappies wielding Oreo grenades. Probably.

Walter White and Jesse Pinkman are the 21st centuries most accurate representation of a generational bond a la Doc Brown and Marty McFly, except the Plutonium is Crystal Meth and the DeLorean is a caravan. It's a story of survival, whatever the cost. Walt is presented with a problem and he chooses to fight, instead of lying down and accepting his fate. That's the best thing about the show, you root for all the bad people because fundamentally, they're trying to better themselves and those around them. The cast are all fabulous in their own right - Anna Gunn as Skylar, Dean Norris as Hank, Betsy Brandt as Marie and RJ Mitte as Walt Jr. provide the incredibly engaging but dysfunctional family you can't help but love yet pity. 

Set in the bleak and roasting cactus-laden desert of Albuquerque, New Mexico all kinds of rather outrageous situations present themselves the deeper Walt and Jesse get into the criminal underworld with Cranston's alias, Heisenberg, taking over the man once given only months to live after being diagnosed with lung cancer; the catalyst behind the entire cooking meth and becoming a suburban kingpin.

However, it wasn't Walt that single-handedly drove this story. In my eyes, the most intriguing character is Jesse. Here's a young weed-smoking drop-out who starts out with a stereotypically teenage eagerness to get rich or die tryin' but is forced to deal with loss, love, addiction and pain without the grounding of a family which Walt has, and often justifies his immoral behaviour by. Walt uses him time and time again, sometimes for Jesse's own good, but often to cover his own deceit and misgivings which is exhilarating to watch unfold. Cranston and Paul are magnificent. 

I mustn't forget the cast of foes and alliances though who also play a hugely pivotal part in their tale. His crooked lawyer, Saul Goodman. Cold-blooded killing duo, the Salamanca twins. "Cleaner" Mike Ehrmantraut. And arguably most influentially, Los Pollos Hermanos boss, Gustavo "Gus" Fring (to name but a few).

I need to wrap this up because to cover 5 seasons would be impossible unless I was a very sturdy anorak. For me, there was a moment in the penultimate episode, and I won't spoil it, but Walt is sat for one of the first times across the whole saga without the luxury of choice. He is out of lies. Completely at a loss with not one single foreseeable way out from the trail of destruction he has caused. And suddenly, an epiphany! Cue the raspy chords from that familiar guitar solo and as I did, you will literally leap in the air. I knew that the show had positively gripped me. 

Breaking Bad is one of the cleverest, coolest and most exciting TV shows I have ever seen, and I implore you if you're one of those 'yeah, I want to watch it but just haven't had time' people, to get yourself the box set, a Netflix account,...a life, and just watch the first couple of episodes because you my friend, will never, ever regret it. 

Breaking Bad Seasons 1-5 receives 5/5 Macho Man Randy Savages because it's Breaking Bad.

    

Standing Still With A Tea Strainer Can Pay Your Mortgage.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009. Barack Obama is inaugurated in front of the planet, and forgets how to use words properly. Classic BO. I work with many American folk and they each have very mixed and viciously strong feelings regarding each and every presidential candidate, present day or otherwise (honestly, a child once told me about their frustration surrounding the Monroe birthday song saga), which more often than not is based on a person's education, social class and whether they own a gun and wear dungarees to parties or not. But, the history of the nation's Commander in Chief has always interested me as well, particularly in the wake of great books, movies and documentaries based on the country's brief but colourful history.

Last night, it was the turn of Lee Daniel's The Butler to dedicate my eyes to for 2hrs and I had my reservations. Almost every movie I've seen in recent times involving an ensemble cast of renown stars totally, utterly, and unequivocally sucks Chihuahua nuts. Mars Attacks, Be Cool, Oceans 12. Little bit 13. When I saw the patriotic trailer and star spangled banner-laced movie posters scattered around town, I didn't allow myself to become too interested for that reason. Curiosity got the better of me though. So, I did it for Bush :)

The story is loosely based on the life of Eugene Allen; a Butler who served under 7 different Presidents during his time at the White House, with original central character Cecil Gaines played by Ghost Dog, Forest Whitaker. Opening with the horrendous nature of slavery and black oppression in America's early history; Cecil is a small boy who upon witnessing his father's demise, is offered the chance to learn the trade of "service" which it appears is very different to my time spent making balloon animals and cleaning up ice-cream sick during my small stint at TGI Fridays. Cecil rises through the ranks at government drinking holes until he is offered the chance to join the White House staff, under President Eisenhower played by the balding Robin Williams (hats off to the make-up team because as we all know, R.W is basically a human Sasquatch). 

Married to Oprah Winfrey's character, Gloria, and with sons David and Elijah (played solidly by David Oleyowo and Elijah Kelley); Cecil experiences 30yrs of social progression first-hand from an insider's perspective. Influential leaders come and go such as Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, endearing first lady's such as Jackie Kennedy and Nancy Reagan, not to mention his like-minded co-workers which happen to be Cuba Gooding Jr. (where's he been?) and Lenny Kravitz who without his nose ring and early noughties tinted sunglasses, is almost unrecognisable. I could list the contributors who played the roles of Reagan, Kennedy, Nixon, Lyndon B. Johnson but I've got a haircut scheduled so glance at these 2 posters please. Their cameos are mostly harmless. 

Whitaker portrays Gaines very well. He's calm and not one to lose his composure in almost any given situation. Although he's foreseen by some as merely a "butler", he's wise beyond his years having overcome his tumultuous childhood acknowledging that every day is a blessing. He's in the thick of it all when his son becomes a Black Panther, his youngest is killed in the Vietnam War and his wife totally warrants being busted on the programme, Cheaters. Forest conveys the emotive nature of these difficult situations, effortlessly. Winfrey is also very good as his lonely alcoholic cheating mess of a wife, turned supportive flair-rocking other half.

Ultimately, I enjoyed it. It was simple. The story is what it is, and unsurprisingly, we're left feeling that the US is founded on freedom hence they now have a black President, which is rather cringey, but sound. You are left feeling proud of a country which has risen from the ashes of its awfully prejudiced past. However, for me it didn't feel as heart-warming a historical drama as Forrest Gump which was a gorgeous film due to its toe-dipping of multiple eras and pop-ups of famous figures, outside of politics. It felt like Daniel's had been forced to lean on the fast forward x2 key and rush through pivotal moments we all wanted to see develop just a little too quickly, whereas other films in the same genre like JFK gave such gravitas to the assassination of Kennedy, you were utterly entranced. Director, Lee Daniel's, having worked on critically acclaimed pictures such as Precious, clearly has a lot of talent with actors eager to work with him and I'm looking forward to seeing more of his movies in future.

The Butler is a good film and has goose bumps aplenty, you'll gasp and become infuriated at the awful nature of racism in the 20th century and find it fun to watch a collection of historical figures brought back to life outside of Disney's Hall of Presidents in the Magic Kingdom (animatronics at its finest, trust). Oh, and Terence Howard's character will remind you how lucky we are to have such good dental care these days because that dead tooth in his grill is just awful.

Lee Daniel's The Butler receives 3/5 Macho Man Randy Savages because it proves that even President's can appreciate the necessity for a decent cup of tea.