Oh, To Have A Chemistry Degree...

"F*ck. F*ckity f*ckity f*ck f*ck f*ck..." This potty-mouth party ensued when the foppish quiff of Hugh Grant rolled out of bed, late for the church ceremony at the beginning of Four Weddings and a Funeral. 
These very same expletives fell from my mouth each and every time the credits rolled across all 62 mesmerising episodes of arguably the greatest TV show in modern history. Breaking Bad is...well, what hasn't been said already? 

At first, it appeared to be a rather comical caper involving a man who in almost every image captured from Season 1 (see above), was standing by a Winnebago pointing a pistol dressed in work shoes and Y-fronts. People were baffled that Bryan Cranston, the "Dad from Malcolm in the Middle", could be anything but a pushover to his wife and their 3 oddly shaped children. I too made a quick association as I recognised Aaron Paul from 2002s Van Wilder: Party Liaison as the high-as-a-kite Californian kid who'd been copping off with multiple chicks in a broom cupboard.

I could spend hours attempting to weave an accurate interpretation of the 5 stellar seasons which have since made US television tyrannosaurus, AMC, the entertainment equivalent of slum dog millionaire Wayne Rooney; the risk that paid dividends. Not one network wanted the pilot season. Showtime, ABC, FOX; they all passed on it. And what fools they were. Breaking Bad has effectively changed the way in which we now watch television. A sweeping statement? I don't think so.

Social media has grown exponentially these last few years (you can find out just how much on the TV show I present, Planet of the Apps, which is a terribly obvious plug on my part but a justified one), as has the furtherance of TV on Demand. Netflix, LoveFilm, Amazon Prime to name but a few overtook the market behemoth Blockbuster which is now a smoking ghost ship left slowly plunging to the bottom of the Home Entertainment Ocean. Original television series such as House of Cards and Orange is the New Black are being effectively commissioned by streaming sites; something Sean Parker could have only dreamt of back in his parent's garage. 

Breaking Bad was a Netflix exclusive in the UK airing the final series of episodes which had premiered in the states, a matter of hours beforehand. And it was big. Crazy big. I for one fell victim to the pilgrimage which was quickly happening across the land to almost every TV owner - "Have you seen Breaking Bad? Yeah. Have you? No. WTF?! What's wrong with you!!?" This happened everywhere, even mothers in supermarkets began fighting in aisles whilst their children stripped off and wrestled in nappies wielding Oreo grenades. Probably.

Walter White and Jesse Pinkman are the 21st centuries most accurate representation of a generational bond a la Doc Brown and Marty McFly, except the Plutonium is Crystal Meth and the DeLorean is a caravan. It's a story of survival, whatever the cost. Walt is presented with a problem and he chooses to fight, instead of lying down and accepting his fate. That's the best thing about the show, you root for all the bad people because fundamentally, they're trying to better themselves and those around them. The cast are all fabulous in their own right - Anna Gunn as Skylar, Dean Norris as Hank, Betsy Brandt as Marie and RJ Mitte as Walt Jr. provide the incredibly engaging but dysfunctional family you can't help but love yet pity. 

Set in the bleak and roasting cactus-laden desert of Albuquerque, New Mexico all kinds of rather outrageous situations present themselves the deeper Walt and Jesse get into the criminal underworld with Cranston's alias, Heisenberg, taking over the man once given only months to live after being diagnosed with lung cancer; the catalyst behind the entire cooking meth and becoming a suburban kingpin.

However, it wasn't Walt that single-handedly drove this story. In my eyes, the most intriguing character is Jesse. Here's a young weed-smoking drop-out who starts out with a stereotypically teenage eagerness to get rich or die tryin' but is forced to deal with loss, love, addiction and pain without the grounding of a family which Walt has, and often justifies his immoral behaviour by. Walt uses him time and time again, sometimes for Jesse's own good, but often to cover his own deceit and misgivings which is exhilarating to watch unfold. Cranston and Paul are magnificent. 

I mustn't forget the cast of foes and alliances though who also play a hugely pivotal part in their tale. His crooked lawyer, Saul Goodman. Cold-blooded killing duo, the Salamanca twins. "Cleaner" Mike Ehrmantraut. And arguably most influentially, Los Pollos Hermanos boss, Gustavo "Gus" Fring (to name but a few).

I need to wrap this up because to cover 5 seasons would be impossible unless I was a very sturdy anorak. For me, there was a moment in the penultimate episode, and I won't spoil it, but Walt is sat for one of the first times across the whole saga without the luxury of choice. He is out of lies. Completely at a loss with not one single foreseeable way out from the trail of destruction he has caused. And suddenly, an epiphany! Cue the raspy chords from that familiar guitar solo and as I did, you will literally leap in the air. I knew that the show had positively gripped me. 

Breaking Bad is one of the cleverest, coolest and most exciting TV shows I have ever seen, and I implore you if you're one of those 'yeah, I want to watch it but just haven't had time' people, to get yourself the box set, a Netflix account,...a life, and just watch the first couple of episodes because you my friend, will never, ever regret it. 

Breaking Bad Seasons 1-5 receives 5/5 Macho Man Randy Savages because it's Breaking Bad.

    

Standing Still With A Tea Strainer Can Pay Your Mortgage.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009. Barack Obama is inaugurated in front of the planet, and forgets how to use words properly. Classic BO. I work with many American folk and they each have very mixed and viciously strong feelings regarding each and every presidential candidate, present day or otherwise (honestly, a child once told me about their frustration surrounding the Monroe birthday song saga), which more often than not is based on a person's education, social class and whether they own a gun and wear dungarees to parties or not. But, the history of the nation's Commander in Chief has always interested me as well, particularly in the wake of great books, movies and documentaries based on the country's brief but colourful history.

Last night, it was the turn of Lee Daniel's The Butler to dedicate my eyes to for 2hrs and I had my reservations. Almost every movie I've seen in recent times involving an ensemble cast of renown stars totally, utterly, and unequivocally sucks Chihuahua nuts. Mars Attacks, Be Cool, Oceans 12. Little bit 13. When I saw the patriotic trailer and star spangled banner-laced movie posters scattered around town, I didn't allow myself to become too interested for that reason. Curiosity got the better of me though. So, I did it for Bush :)

The story is loosely based on the life of Eugene Allen; a Butler who served under 7 different Presidents during his time at the White House, with original central character Cecil Gaines played by Ghost Dog, Forest Whitaker. Opening with the horrendous nature of slavery and black oppression in America's early history; Cecil is a small boy who upon witnessing his father's demise, is offered the chance to learn the trade of "service" which it appears is very different to my time spent making balloon animals and cleaning up ice-cream sick during my small stint at TGI Fridays. Cecil rises through the ranks at government drinking holes until he is offered the chance to join the White House staff, under President Eisenhower played by the balding Robin Williams (hats off to the make-up team because as we all know, R.W is basically a human Sasquatch). 

Married to Oprah Winfrey's character, Gloria, and with sons David and Elijah (played solidly by David Oleyowo and Elijah Kelley); Cecil experiences 30yrs of social progression first-hand from an insider's perspective. Influential leaders come and go such as Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, endearing first lady's such as Jackie Kennedy and Nancy Reagan, not to mention his like-minded co-workers which happen to be Cuba Gooding Jr. (where's he been?) and Lenny Kravitz who without his nose ring and early noughties tinted sunglasses, is almost unrecognisable. I could list the contributors who played the roles of Reagan, Kennedy, Nixon, Lyndon B. Johnson but I've got a haircut scheduled so glance at these 2 posters please. Their cameos are mostly harmless. 

Whitaker portrays Gaines very well. He's calm and not one to lose his composure in almost any given situation. Although he's foreseen by some as merely a "butler", he's wise beyond his years having overcome his tumultuous childhood acknowledging that every day is a blessing. He's in the thick of it all when his son becomes a Black Panther, his youngest is killed in the Vietnam War and his wife totally warrants being busted on the programme, Cheaters. Forest conveys the emotive nature of these difficult situations, effortlessly. Winfrey is also very good as his lonely alcoholic cheating mess of a wife, turned supportive flair-rocking other half.

Ultimately, I enjoyed it. It was simple. The story is what it is, and unsurprisingly, we're left feeling that the US is founded on freedom hence they now have a black President, which is rather cringey, but sound. You are left feeling proud of a country which has risen from the ashes of its awfully prejudiced past. However, for me it didn't feel as heart-warming a historical drama as Forrest Gump which was a gorgeous film due to its toe-dipping of multiple eras and pop-ups of famous figures, outside of politics. It felt like Daniel's had been forced to lean on the fast forward x2 key and rush through pivotal moments we all wanted to see develop just a little too quickly, whereas other films in the same genre like JFK gave such gravitas to the assassination of Kennedy, you were utterly entranced. Director, Lee Daniel's, having worked on critically acclaimed pictures such as Precious, clearly has a lot of talent with actors eager to work with him and I'm looking forward to seeing more of his movies in future.

The Butler is a good film and has goose bumps aplenty, you'll gasp and become infuriated at the awful nature of racism in the 20th century and find it fun to watch a collection of historical figures brought back to life outside of Disney's Hall of Presidents in the Magic Kingdom (animatronics at its finest, trust). Oh, and Terence Howard's character will remind you how lucky we are to have such good dental care these days because that dead tooth in his grill is just awful.

Lee Daniel's The Butler receives 3/5 Macho Man Randy Savages because it proves that even President's can appreciate the necessity for a decent cup of tea.